Sitting with the darkness.
“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
Sitting still, alone, for most of us is excruciating. Because it means being with our mind and our pain, both of which we spend so much of our lives trying to run from.
I’m an escaper, that’s my default coping strategy. Maybe you are too. Get away at all costs. Avoid the pain. Avoid the difficult conversation. Escape the intense feelings and constant stream of mental activity. Do something, anything to not be with the emotional discomfort that’s showing up.
Sometimes that’s physical escape, more often it’s escape through mindless scrolling online, pouring a drink, lashing out. Whatever the outward behaviour, it’s all the same game, it’s a way to not have to feel, a way to ‘avoid’.
Having these coping strategies doesn’t make us bad, it makes us human. Built into our nervous system is a fundamental and primal will to survive, so when we go into avoidance, we’re simply trying to survive. The problem is that these strategies are maladaptive and unhealthy, and while it may feel better to escape the shadow, it will show up one way or another. We can simply never outrun our pain.
So we sit.
We resist the urge to escape. We turn towards the darkness and we make space, we allow it all to show up, to come into the light of conscious awareness. We look at it, and more often than not, we release it. In turn, we reclaim our energy and our power.We stop running.
May you find the strength to sit with all of yourself today 🙇♀️